Losing Tamaki
by Nekomimi62
Summary: Tamaki and Haruhi are getting married. How will Kyouya bear the pain of losing the man he loves? Can Kaoru help?


Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran.

This was quite possibly the worst day of Kyouya Ootori's life.

He had known this was coming. He had known it the moment she had dashed off to bring him back to Ouran, something he had been unable to do. When those two started dating, he had known it was only a matter of time.

And now here they were on the day of Tamaki Suoh and Haruhi Fujioka's wedding. The day he would watch the man he loved marry one of his best friends.

Yes he loved Tamaki. He had loved him since the two of them had started high school. Tamaki was the only one he had been able to speak honestly to. His first friend and his first love. He had hoped that once he left Ouran and took over his father's company he would be able to just move on with his life, but that had proved to be impossible. Kyouya saw his face every time he closed his eyes; he heard his voice whenever it was quiet. When he did sleep the dreams tormented him. Dreams of kissing Tamaki's lips, caressing his face, touching his soft blonde hair and of their bodies moving against each other.

It was more than Kyouya could bear.

When Tamaki had told him the 'happy news' it felt like his heart had torn in two. He had felt sick to his stomach, but he just smiled and congratulated him.

Now here he was, in a tie that felt like it was trying to strangle him.

"Hey there best man!" Tamaki called as he raced over and hugged Kyouya.

"Hey Tamaki," Kyouya said.

"I'm so glad everyone could come," Tamaki beamed, "Even Renge decided to come. You know, since she found out Haruhi was a girl she's been asking about you. She's really matured into a beautiful woman. You should talk to her, after all you've never even had a girlfriend, and she could be good for you. Who knows, maybe I'll be your best man before long."

Kyouya wanted to scream, no you idiot I don't want her I want you!

But he just smiled and nodded. Then a thought struck him.

"Hey Tamaki, what about your mother? Is she…I mean, is she going to be here?"

Tamaki's expression changed then becoming serious and sad, "No…no she's not. In fact, I'm lucky that my dad was able to come. My grandmother greatly objected to me marrying a commoner, especially after meeting Ranka, but my dad stuck up for us. I'm grateful but…" at this point Tamaki's eyes filled with tears.

Kyouya felt his heart constrict as he wrapped his arms around the blonde.

Tamaki cried into Kyouya's shoulder, "I just wish she could be here. I mean she's never even met Haruhi! My own mother has never even met the girl I love! I hate all this political crap! My grandmother gave Haruhi hell trying to break us up and even now because of her my mother can't be here on one of the happiest days of my life!"

"Everything is going to be okay," Kyouya wanted to cry himself as he spoke again, "You and Haruhi are perfect for each other and nothing that woman can do will change that. You know your mother would be here if she could, and from everything you've told me I certain she would love Haruhi."

Tamaki dried his eyes and looked up at Kyouya in wonder, "You always know just what to say don't you?"

Kyouya laughed, "Go get yourself cleaned up. I'm sure your beautiful bride can't wait to see you."

Tamaki grinned, "Yeah, I can't wait to see her. The twins designed her dress so I'm sure it's stunning!"

Tamaki walked quickly down the hall and Kyouya watched him go.

"What's up Kyouya?"

He turned to see the twins standing side by side in identical suits.

"Hey guys, it's been a while."

"Yeah," Hikaru said, "a lot's happened."

Suddenly a skinny little blonde slinked up and wrapped herself around Hikaru's arm, "Hey sweetie where did you go, I missed you!"

"Sorry babe, I just wanted to introduce you to a friend of mine. Kyouya, this is my beautiful girlfriend Yukino. Yukino, this is my friend Kyouya."

"A pleasure," She said extending a hand.

Kyouya shook it lightly observing her shiny gold dress, which left very little to the imagination.

"Darling why don't the two of us go find our seats?"

"Sure whatever you want," Hikaru replied and the two of them walked off leaving Kaoru and Kyouya alone.

Kaoru turned and looked right at Kyouya, "Love sucks doesn't it?"

"What?"

"You love Tamaki, don't you?"

Kyouya decided that the time for lies was past, "Yes, more than anything."

Kaoru nodded, "I figured as much. I'm really sorry about the way things between you played out. I understand exactly how you feel."

"So you…"

"Yeah, I love Hikaru. I have my whole life."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't hate her you know," Kaoru said quietly, "She makes him happy. That's all I've ever wanted. For him to be happy, I'm willing to give up my own happiness. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."

"Does the pain ever go away," Kyouya asked desperately.

"I don't know. Mine hasn't yet. We just have to wait it out, and hope the day comes when we can wake up and not think about them. Until then, you can come to me if you need to talk."

Kyouya hugged Kaoru whispering, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

With that the two of them walked into the church and took their seats beside the rest of the club.

As the music began to play Kyouya saw all the moments he had spent with Tamaki, meeting him that first day, being moved to tears when he played piano, falling in love with him, realizing Tamaki and Haruhi were perfect for each other. Now at this moment he would lose him forever.

Everyone turned and he watched Haruhi float down the aisle. She looked stunning, clad in a white ball gown covered in small crystals. Crystal flowers adorned her short dark hair which glittered every time the light caught them.

Ranka was wearing a pale pink mermaid dress as he walked his daughter down the aisle.

And there at the alter stood Tamaki. Dressed up in his tux he looked like a romance movie hero.

And I'm not his heroine, Kyouya thought.

The service began and Kyouya's mind returned to thoughts of the times when he had thought Tamaki could be his.

"If anyone has any objection to this union speak now or forever hold your peace."

Silence filled the room.

This is my last chance, Kyouya realized; he could stop this right now if he wanted to. No, he could never do that to Tamaki. He loved him enough that he would now let him go. He stayed seated.

"You may now kiss the bride."

And Tamaki swept Haruhi into his arms in a passionate kiss.

Kyouya felt like his insides were twisting inside him. Tears welled in his eyes and spilled over, rolling down his cheeks and falling onto his shaking hands.

A soft hand closed over his squeezing lightly. He looked into Kaoru's eyes and saw incredible support.

During the reception party there was plenty of dancing and drinking and laughing. Ranka was smashed and made plenty of threats to Tamaki about just what would become of him if anything happened to his little girl.

About half way through the party Kyouya snuck outside. He stumbled into the parking lot and fell to his knees. He sobbed, he screamed, he pounded his fists into the pavement. "Tamaki!" He screamed, "Tamaki, Tamaki why? Why did it have to be her? I loved you! I would have given you everything! Tamaki, oh god Tamaki…" He sobbed his tears falling onto the pavement in the dark parking lot. The pain felt like it was tearing him apart from the inside out. He wondered how anyone could survive this pain.

A firm hand grasped his shoulder and there stood a survivor.

"Come on," Kaoru said gently, "Everyone's asking about you."

With Kaoru's help Kyouya stood up and walked back into the building.

As the pair walked through the door Haruhi threw the bouquet. It landed in Kyouya's hands.

Somehow he would get through this, with Kaoru's help. He would mend his broken heart.

"You doing okay?" Kaoru asked him in a whisper.

"Do you think I can make it through this?"

"Yeah. You live, you love, you lose everything and still time goes on. And who knows, maybe you'll learn to love again."

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